Southern Utah News Articles
I've always admired women who have that 'together' look. You know the type. Their shoes actually match the dress...they've taken the time to take off the red fingernail polish when they are in fact, wearing a purple outfit...they don't carry a purse that when set down spills out embarrassing contents.
I'm just not that together type of woman. A recent example comes to mind.
I was going to St. George to hear Governor Huntsman speak concerning the state of Southern Utah economy. I figured that would be interesting. The big glitch was that in order to make the 8:00 a.m. speech, I was going to have to leave here by about 6:15.
First of all, anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm not a morning person. I wake up early, but I'm simply not overly functional and my heart doesn't start beating until around ten.
But I was proud of myself on this particular morning, because I got up, showered and washed my hair, got dressed in a suit (brown jacket and tan suede skirt), this color ensemble will be important when I tell you the 'rest' of the story.
I began the trip, feeling pretty proud of myself. I was going to be on time and I actually did have a kind of 'together' look going. But around Hurricane, I began feeling light-headed. I hadn't had time to have breakfast, and I figured that I should get some quickie to-go breakfast, so I would be paying attention and talking semi-intelligently to the political types.
I went through a drive-through and ordered a breakfast burrito. Since it was still early morning, I was basically eating and driving in the dark. I chomped down the much-needed food, and congratulated myself for how well I was getting everything handled..and on time.
Boy wasn't I surprised when I arrived at the conference, got out of the car and smoothed my skirt. Apparently, when I had bit into the burrito, much of its contents (with salsa) had come out the bottom of the tortilla...right onto the front of the light tan suede skirt! I attempted to blot and rub the stain, and much to my dismay, it became bigger and the colors deeper.
After I uttered a few creative expletives, I appraised my situation. I'd taken off work, come a long way, and was not going to miss the Governor's speech! I had to think quickly. I grabbed the waistband, pulled up the skirt (fortunately it was loose enough) and turned it around backwards, so the red, brown and yellow stain was on the back, hidden beneath the jacket. I was pleased concerning my ingenuity. This was going to work out after all.
I went in and registered for the conference. Immediately, some nice gentleman questioned if he could take my jacket.
"Go jump off a bridge," I whispered under my breath, as I quietly declined, protectively holding my jacket close to my body with crossed arms.
"I beg your pardon," he asked.
"I said that this place feels like a fridge," I recovered. "I think I'll keep my jacket on. Thank you."
I found a seat in a far corner of the convention room, and hunkered down, making sure my jacket didn't get caught up revealing my stained backside. I heard the Governor's speech, and then slipped out after it was over.
I stopped at the restroom before going to the car. Several 'snooty-type' women were in there discussing the Governor's message.
One of them looked at me and said, "we were just talking about what an attractive outfit you have on, but we were just wondering if you knew your skirt was on backwards? The zipper should go in the back," she announced smirkingly.
"Well, I'm kind of a trend setter," I said, trying to think of a quick comeback. "I read in a fashion magazine that this is the latest style. All the in crowd is doing it."
"Oh," the snooty-type said as she appraised me. "I didn't know that."
As I left, I noticed two of them looking in the mirror and turning their skirts around.
I got out to the car and readjusted my skirt to its stained, but right direction. I think it's settled, I'm definitely not the 'together' type of woman!