As promised from a previous humor column, I want to know when a man becomes ‘an older guy.’ The premise of the first column was a comment my husband made to me saying that a woman was ‘old’ when she began carrying a big old-lady purse.

Well needless to say, that went over well like a pregnant polevaulter with me, as I kicked my suitcase-sized bag under the seat! But never-the-less, turnabout is fair play.

Let’s see when a guy arrives at ‘old’, according to my Facebook post and people on the street:

•When there are more hairs in his ears than on his head!

•When he expels gas, and blames it on you.

•When they stop using turn signals on their vehicle. The wife guesses her husband must think everyone should just ‘know’ where he’s going, or, he likes to hear his wife yell, “signal!”

•Older males give truthful answers when a woman asks them if the outfit they’re wearing makes them look fat.

•When searching for their keys or wallet becomes a daily and sometimes hourly recreational activity for both husband and wife. She also adds, “guess who finds them 90% of the time?”

•They sit to pee...or so I’ve heard.

•One daughter shares her father makes reference to shows or movies that were made before she was born.

•When they don’t bother about shaving and they don’t trim the hair in their ears! (Guys, this seemed to be a recurring topic, you may want to manage those errant hairs!)

•When they give a long sigh when you ask them to do anything.

•When they repeat the same story to you again...and again...and again!


•They don’t have a cellphone, or don’t really know how to use it.

•They start sentences with, “in my day...” (Of course, that’s from a Brunner!)