Dear Editor:

I think you folks living in the vicinity of Kanab need to thoroughly explore your surroundings and eradicate the remaining marijuana farms in the area, as I’m pretty certain the runoff from all those plants is seeping into your water supply.  

How else to explain the whacked-out ideas coming from some local dog experts?  If I understand correctly from your October 13 edition, to keep my dog from freaking out during thunderstorms, I should wrap half his body with elastic-wrap to make him “more aware of his movements and increase confidence” or, alternatively envelop him in a goofy outfit called a “ThundershirtTM”, or even better yet, mist his air, food and/or drinking water with “Drama-Trauma” flower essences while

playing classical music softly in the background.  

Har-har-har! Keep this up, and the outfit now known as Dogtown will be identified as Kookville!  Don’t get me wrong.  I love dogs (although inexplicably I have five cats and zero dogs at present, but how that came to be is a topic for another day.)  I’m all for helping dogs make it through perilous times without long-term psychological damage, but shouldn’t we allow simple sanity to prevail? I mean, dogs have weathered thunderstorms for thousands of years. Canines are a proud and ancient family of mammals, and they don’t want incense blown up their noses now whenever a cloud appears overhead.  

People, don’t humiliate your animals by over-pampering and treating them like they’re all of French ancestry (however, some of them may actually be of French descent, in which case you should feel free to coddle).  

Years ago I had a beagle named Chester who would slink into the central bathroom and put his paws over his eyes until the thunder stopped.  We simply let him do his thing, and he always emerged none the worse for the experience. No soundproof padded cell, no flower essences, no body wraps, nothing but a few words of love and assurance.  In fact, Chester would not have thought kindly of his “people” if we had trussed him up like a chicken at such times.  

Your writer says scientists believe dogs can sense an approaching storm by changes in barometric pressure. Big deal.  My mother-in-law can do the same thing via her arthritis, but do we wrap her in a ThundershirtTM or blow Drama-Trauma flower essences at her?  No.  

Citizens of Kanab, let your dogs stand up (or lie down) and be normal! Hmmm…on second thought, perhaps I see a moneymaking opportunity here. We fine citizens of Arizona will shortly be voting on Proposition 203, the Medical Marijuana Initiative, which, if approved, will allow residents with certain medical conditions to legally obtain small amounts of marijuana for personal use. I don’t use the stuff myself, but if the proposition passes, perhaps I could set up a little fruit stand in the parking lot of the Buckskin Tavern where Kanab locals could bring their animals whenever a storm threatens. For a nominal fee, I could treat their mutts to some anxiety-reducing weed, an approach that undoubtedly would be a lot more effective than any number of Mozart tunes.