Southern Utah News Articles
Top Stories for April 28, 2010
Old Crankcase...giving out compliments?
Caitlin Brunner, Jeremy’s wife, says marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in hope of pulling out an eel. Caitlin admits she didn’t pull out an eel.
Doc Bowman has been a doctor for a number of years. He’s had two patients. I’m sure it’s two, as I attended both of their funerals.
I like Cody Brunner…fried!
Dealie Reese says when you grow old, you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up…then you forget to pull it down.
My son-in-law, John Meanea, is a happy man. Why? Well, he has his health and considering his past…he has a bad memory.
I haven’t had a drink in 22 years, but drunks get a bad rap. If they don’t, how come there are so many more old drunks than there are old doctors?
When I take up assassination, I’ll start at the gutter and work my way down to pharmacists like Kortney Stirland.
I told Dave Owens to take up jogging to trim down. Dave hissed, “Go jogging! What, and get hit by a meteor?”
Kyle Brunner has tried many ploys to attract women…but they were not aware of it.
Lynn Button stupid and clumsy? Well, he’s the only “klutz” I know who misses when he tries to shake hands.
Jim Ott a liar? Yesterday, he told me that he knows the Social Security number of the Unknown Soldier.
Know the fight I’d like to watch…Tom Willardson and Fred Chappell beating the snot out of each other.
Know why I make fun of Coach Arlyn Hafen’s mentality? He told me last week that the Bowman triplets all were born in Kanab.
Wave to Old 200, folks. She needs a moral uplift.
On to things I feel are important. Concerning the Brunners…granted, Dennis is a vegetable, Dixie can’t boil water and can’t drive for sour apples, and the four Brunner boys are illegal aliens and need to be deported.
However, they’re a pretty gutsy crew. Years ago, they came to Kanab, aliens in an alien land, and there’s nothing more alien than a tiny band of non-Mormons in a small Mormon community.
I am a Mormon myself, born and raised a Mormon in the tiny confines of a minute St. George, not far removed from a tiny LDS settlement.
Again, however, the Babe and I are hobos, traveling to and living in, numerous states. We are well aware no one is more clique-ish than Mormons in a small Mormon hamlet.
The Brunners are to be admired. I taught Kyle in school and have carried both Kyle and Cody on many activities. Though I regularly called them boneheads, both are great, talented young men. Rory is “straight up” and Jeremy, indicated by his success, must be one helluva brilliant gentleman.
Dennis and Dixie have thrived and, in spite of opposition, run the most neutral hometown newspaper the Babe and I have ever come across, and we have been in every one of the original 48 states.
Brunners, you’re schmucks! But…we could surely use a few more schmucks like you here in Happy Valley. Thanks Brunners, for making Kanab your home!
By the by, normally I’m not a fan of most well-to-do people. Usually they acquired wealth by sticking it to other people. Steve Heaton of Kanab is an exception. He got his money the old-fashioned way. He earned it! Thanks, Steve, for keeping my son-in-law John Meanea employed. This keeps him off the government dole…and away from Kanab.